HIRING:

Fast-growing CPG food startup is looking for undiscovered geniuses, Swiss Army knives, humble ninja-Creatives, lovers of plants, and people we enjoy hanging out with every day. 

 

We're not seeking to fill a position. We're looking for the right people. 

 

POSSIBLE FUNCTIONAL ROLE(S): 

*depending upon your talents/interests/background*

• Content Creation

• Branding

• Social Media

• Photography

• Videography

• Customer Service

• Research 

• Event Planner/Manager

• Brand Ambassador

• Statistics & Data Analytics

• Content & Email Marketing

• Admin (Organizing, Calendar, Schedule, Travel)

• Delivery & Merchandising

 

You may be a recent grad or entry-level. That's totally cool with us, but we'd love to see evidence that you have the near-term capacity to be a superstar. 

 

The more boxes you check, the more interested we will be:

 

ESSENTIALS

# Strong Design skills

# Expertise in Creative Suite and ability to learn new software, as needed

# Organized & conscientious

# Can-do attitude, hustle mentality

# Humble, genuine & not an asshole

# Wicked smaht, quick study

# Self-motivated, self-directed, focused

# Not entitled, prima donna, toxic, or douchebaggy

# Eager to learn, good listener, asks perceptive questions

# You have an A-game, and you bring your A-game to work with you

# Honest, kind, ethical, truthful, Abraham Lincoln-ish (beard and top hat optional)

# Being close friends with coworkers is important to you 

 

 

BENEFICIALS

# Tech/media savvy

# You love food

# You think cooking is cathartic

# You know how to write, spell, conjugate, abbreviate, and contract the American dialect of the English language without heavy editing (e.g., you know the difference between their, there, and they're)

# You eat a lot of plants

# You pursue health and fitness for the long haul, not just for a few weeks every January 

# You haven’t been in a McDonald’s in 5+ years

 

ADDITIONALS

# You read ingredient labels regularly

# You miss the old Iron Chef

# People besides your mom and your cat say you are funny or have a great sense of humor

 

OPTIONALS

# You like Grateful Dead, glossy cookbooks, terra-cotta pots, and Chef’s Table

# You’ve dabbled in fermentation

# You’d prefer a vintage Land Cruiser to a Mustang

 

TRUE/FALSE QUIZ (EXTRA CREDIT):

T/F: All yogurt is made from milk

T/F: Plant-based is different than Vegan

T/F: Your favorite emoji is the coconut 

T/F: Deep Eddy < Barton Springs

T/F: True/False quizzes are mean. 

 

HOW TO APPLY:

 

This is a full-time paid position for a high-energy, dedicated, bright, pleasant, ultra-competent person. Apply via email: yummy@culinayogurt.com. 

 

Item 1: You will email us at the address above. Let's just call the text of your email your cover letter, okay? Make that interesting. We get lots of emails, and most are stale and boring. Yours? Not so much. 

 

Item 2: Please send us something that resembles a resume, so that we can have a sense of where you've been all our lives. 

 

Item 3: Don't forget to send samples of your mostest awesomest work (Portfolio links, PDFs, JPGs, exquisite spreadsheets, animated GIFs, feature films, and/or Nobel Prizes)

 

Item 4: Please provide at least three GLOWING references (who are not related to you). If you cannot think of three people who will rave about how you are the greatest thing since cultured coconuts, then you're probably not a good fit. 

 

Item 5: In either an attachment or in the body of the email, write a 1-page (or less) Dream Job Description for yourself. You won't know exactly what we need (that's okay), but if you know how to use the Google, you can figure out what we do. Give us an idea of some things you could do as a part of our team that would make a ginormous difference. Or, if you're not feeling the job description thing, you can just draw us a sweet picture of your favorite vegetable or jot down a quick solution of sustainable global farming.